forgiveness

I go to church once in awhile. Sometimes I go more then others. Theres been a few times where for some reason I want to go to church. Well last Saturday after a day at work I had this urge to go to church. I don't know if it was all the dumb drama at work or what. I just sat there all day listening to people talk about everyone and I don't think these 30+ year olds realize that what they say and do can really have an impact on peoples lives. Either way I decided I wanted to go and called my friend Scarlett to go with me. I got to the church before Scar did and I sat in my car to wait for her and Baby Coby to get there. While I am sitting there a Jason Alden song came on. I am not sure if it was the song, the church, or the exhaustion that made me cry. But I cried. I sat there and cried. Kayla says that someone really wanted me to go to church that night.

I've been to this church a number of times and usually enjoy them. That night they were talking about forgiveness. I sat there and realized that there were a lot of people in my life that I was angry with and have yet to forgive them. I am still struggling with them. God being one of them. I feel like an awful person who can be angry at God and have a hard time forgiving him. I have a lot to be thankful in my life. I have a lot of good things going on. Why I let this negativity have such a hold on my life sometimes I do not know.

Working on being a better person is hard. Going through all these emotions is tough and has been a struggle. I do not wish anyone to go through this situation ever.