Stressed

I am super stressed that I will fail at this fundraiser this summer. I need bands in a BIG WAY! I have got a venue. and I got it at a discounted rate. Zoo Montana is the venue that I choose to go with I am super excited about that. Now just making everything else come together gives me an anxiety attack. I have a problem with procrastination and asking people for things..expecially people I don't know.

These are thing that I need to get very FAST! 

I don't get out much so I don't know a whole lot about what bands there are in Montana.

Also I am going to be needing help with a few things with this fundraiser. I want to sell bracelets and possibly t-shirts at this event I will need people to do this for me and to take control because I will not have time to do that. I will be busy making sure everything else goes good.

I will also need someone to help me get together donations from businesses to raffle off or like door prizes.

I will need to have people that will help clean up the event afterwards.

On my list of things to do RIGHT NOW is find a place to get posters and tickets donated. 

If anyone would like to help, donate, has ideas or what have you.. PLEASE CONTACT ME

e-mail me at ktzarn@gmail.com (it goes straight to phone so its like texting)

Days Go By

You know when you are in high school and you sit there and think about all the things you want to accomplish. I am no where near where I thought I would be.

I remember my senior year sitting with my friends Heidi and Chelsea in our Accounting Class and we sat and talked about where we thought we would be at the age of 25.

I figured I'd be done with school and on my way to either owning my own business or managing some business. I would be getting ready to get engaged to the man of my dreams (Who of course I would meet while in college). We would be engaged for a year and then married for another year then we would discuss children. I would talk my sweet man into adopting children. I would continue to work and be a business woman in charge. I would be living by the beach.

I am now 25 not married and not even close to getting married. I still want to adopt but I also want to be pregnant with a child also (not today but later in life). I would still like to own my own business. But I would also like to have the option some day to raise a family. And owning a business can make that difficult. These are things I think about now. It is crazy how life can change the things you want. My goal to be such a business woman has faded and I have since realized that being a stay at home mom is not the worst job to ever have. I think about the things I got to enjoy in my childhood because my mom was a stay at home mom. My mom got to come to every basketball, volleyball and football game I was ever involved in. She got to come help out in the classroom and come on class trips. Me and my friends could get a ride home from lunch. I could go on and on about the amazing things my mom has done. Now that I look back I was sure lucky.

I also do not live by a beach. I always thought I would live in California. If I would of moved to California there is no way that I could be there for my family like I have been. I will never regret not moving to Cali. If I lived out of states I think I would be feeling awful. I would never get to do the things that I have for my family.

I am working on going back to school and studying business. I thought about teaching but my first love has always been business. I think I am good at it. I live with a roommate and currently have a great boyfriend who makes me smile and laugh and has helped me start to put back together the Katie I remember before July happened.

If you would of asked me when I was 18 if I saw myself still not a college graduate, not married, and living in Billings Montana. I would of laughed in your face.

2012

We are into a new year...

As get to a new year people make out resoultions. The last fews it has been to just work on myself as a person. So I been working on myself last year. And I will continue to do as the years go by. This year I have a few things that I been struggling with and I will work on them this year..

Forgiveness, Procrastination, Stress, and Katie Time.

Forgiveness- I been struggling with this for awhile now. I can't seem to let things go. And I know that it doesn't affect the people I am not forgiving more then it does me. I know that I carry it on my shouldars.

Procrastination- The fund raiser stuff really suffers because of this. And this in turn leads too....

STRESS- I need to get back to the gym and start doing other stress reliever things again. Life is so more manageable without stress. Stress leads to anxiety. and anxiety leads to sleepless nights. Sleepless nights leads to emotional break downs. Which leads me to be a CRAZY LADY. AHHHHH!!!

Katie Time- I need to make more time for myself and stop worrying about people judging me for things. Sometimes its ok to turn my phone off and not be there for EVERYONE! Quiet alone time can be nice...I'll have to try it one of these days.

I am not a terrible person. I am not a perfect person. I have room to grow to be a better person. Every day is a struggle and sometimes I fight with myself and God. Its a learning process but I am starting to manage life a little better. One day at a time. One breath at a time more like it for.

2011-part 1

It's almost 2012.

I can honestly say that I am so ready for 2011 to be over.

In the begining of 2011 I had to set out a goal to better myself. To get healthy and to grow up.

I had started going to the gym and started going less. I was starting to feel really good about myself. My friend Ashley and I were going to reward ourselves with a trip to Calgary for the Stampede and a Kenny Chesney concert.

I was in a good place for most things in my life.

July 11th. My world crumbled.

I turned 25 on the 12th of July.

Visited Kenzie in the ICU. Then Ashley and I went on to Calgary. This trip was not as fun as I had planned. The whole trip I kept waiting for a message saying that Kenzie didn't make it. I felt so lost. How could so much change with one phone call? How would life change for the family?

I some how lost my drivers license on this trip.

As soon as I got back to the States started working on the first fund raiser. It was stressful and chaotic. But honestly we had such an amazing turn out. The Cut Bank community is one of a kind and I am glad I have gotten to know so many amazing people from there.

The next fund raiser I really had nothing to do. Just trying to help in any way I can.

At this time I was going to Great Falls every week.

If I got sleep I was lucky. I was super emotional. Super lost.

Found out my friends dad had cancer. Blog about John

I think I had so much stress that I ended up messing up back some how after the fund raiser in Lewistown. I missed work and was misserable I slept for like 3 days straight.

After the fund raiser I realised I didn't have my passport anymore. Still missing.

As I was getting ready to go visit Kenzie and go to my cousins baby shower. I got in a car wreck leaving DMV and on my way out of town. My head lights were out it was 5 pm. Had to post pone my trip until I got my moms tire fixed.

I left town the next day and decided to make a detour and see a friend and have a drink because I felt like being some place where no one knew me. I needed a break from myself. Here I met a pretty neat guy. He has been the best thing that has come out of my misfortune for this year. I am pretty lucky for that.

Got accepted back to College

Was suppose to go visit Kayla and Starr again but life happens and I wasn't able. :(

Won Best Costume on Halloween.

Had a Thanksgiving with no turkey.

Boyfriend left Montana.

Was suppose to meet new baby cousin. Life happened and I wasn't able to do that.

Had an interview with the Gazette about Kenzie (Keep an eye out for this, trust me I will be posting a link or letting you fine people know when it happens)

Car took forever to get fixed.

Had to take car back in.

Work didn't pay me for commission

There was a glitch with my card out of the thousands of people in the system I was one of 12 that this happened too.

Got to finally meet new baby cousin and got to spend time with Kayla, Kenzie, Randy and Soni.

News Article came out

Boyfriend came back to visit! :)

Thing I learned in 2011

-you really can change your life if you really want to
-bad things can happen to good people
-I can not be there for everyone
-Life can be hard
-Stress in my worst enemy
-Growing up is ok I will survive being a disgusting grown up as kayla would say
-someone can make me a smile even if they are a day away
-hearts can hurt so bad but somehow you still can breath
-I can ignore dumb people but when the dumb people hurt my family in some way I have a harder time letting it go

Thankful for

family
friends
patience
love
brain activity
breathing
forgiveness
vodka

Later on I will post favorite pictures from 2011

thank you all for reading my blogs that I have written.

Thank you for keeping my cousin Kenzie in your prayers and my friends Dad (John LaPierre) as well. You all have made it more possible to breath on the unbearable and rolling out of bed days. Thank you again and I hope you all have a safe and fun new years. Remember don't get behind a wheel if you have been drinking. Not worth it and BUCKLE UP!!

Billings Gazette

If you haven't seen this here you go. Billings Gazette Article

I did an article a while back with the Billings Gazette to talk about the fundraisers I have coming up.

I'd like to apologize to the ladies in Lewistown I did mention that I really had nothing to do with that fundraiser. You all put on such a sucessful event and honestly I am very greatful that my family knows you and has you all as friends. Thank you so much!

Second, when I was interviewed Kenzie had moved a little and I told the lady that I wasn't there everyday to actually know 100% of what she has been doing. This is why we didn't go into much detail.

Chelsea did a great job and I am super thankful that she took time out of very hectic schedule to fit me in.

Now to the comments.

I am having a hard time being nice about some of them. I have choose not to write anything on the discussion on the paper because everyone is allowed their own opinion and I don't feel like coming off as rude.

But since this is my blog..MR. Reality Check I have read you comments all over the gazette. Honestly, I think you should change your name to Mr. I Know Everything. Honestly, no one likes that guy that thinks he knows everything. You always have to have the answer and everyone always has to be wrong. Thank you for reading the article that means a lot to us that you took the time out of your day to read it. But I honestly know Kenzie is in there. The first night that I went the nursing home and I was on the floor talking to the CNA's Kenzie moved her head towards me when she heard my voice. They said she hadn't moved that much for them ever on her own. Go back to another blog of mine and see the video of her moving her arm ON COMMAND! Give up hope on a 16 year old? She has her age on her side. It may take awhile but we are willing to fight it out with her.

BillMillerJr. You do not have to donate. We will take prayers. And donating to hospitals is nice also.

Whatevver. I am glad that you had this talk with you family as a teenager. Kenzie had just turned 16. She was very open with her parents. And never in there was there anything that maybe this was Kenzie's choice. So I am glad you have your opinion.

Again Thank you all for reading the article. Thank you for the donations, the prayers, the kinds words and everything. We could not have gone almost 6 months from all the love we have gotten from complete strangers.

Merry Fricken Christmas

I just wanted to wish all of you out there a Merry Christmas. I hope you all did not stress out to much and are enjoying your loved ones!

I have already posted a blog about the people I love. Its Christmas and I don't want to post anything to make anyone depressed.

I enjoyed my days off with the people that I love the most. I got to see my new baby cousin. along with his mom, dad, and big brother. and I also got to see my grandparents and some friends that I love.

Then it was off to see Uncle Randy, Aunt Soni, Kayla and the bum Kenzie. I have video of some dancing going on but I have strict instructions not to post. so to assure that I don't get beat I will have not post at this time. Now I have good blackmail. :) There was lots of laughs and that I am thankful.

Now I am home with my parents. I will get to see my sister and her lovely family.

So I hope you all have a great day whether you celebrate Christmas or not.

Hug and tell people you love, care about them and appreciate them. Remember it only takes a split second to lose the people you love and care about the most.

Fundraisers

Fubdraisers.

Roundup Adult Prom

April 21st 2012. Located Roundups Community Center. Starting at 9 pm. music is being donated by Charlie Gairrett. Ashlie Tait will be there taking photos. It is B.Y.O.B.
Tickets:single- $10 couples- $15

This is a 21 and older event. Formal wear.

Shake It For Kenzie

I am shooting for July 14th.

All Ages. Location is still undetermined. A number of bands and solo artists.

A day to enjoy Montana sunshine. Listen to some Montana talent. Enjoy and celebrate life.

Part of the profits will be going to help children with brain injuries.

These will be an annual events.

Anyone that has any that questions or ideas please contact me. The venue i am looking for will need to let use charge to let people in. e-mail ktzarn@gmail.