So I been reading this book about a boy that got sick and slowly became in to a vegetative state. The doctors told his parents he was brain dead and that he would die..it was just a matter of time.
There are things that are totally different about this case and my cousins case. I know this.
I had to stop reading the book at parts because the abuse this poor man suffered. Unlike Kenzie he had to be put in to a care home during the day and whenever his family went on vacation or his dad was out of town. The things that he was put through the whole time is disgusting and will make you cry, scream and cry again. You will become ill. It was awful. They thought he was brain dead and had no idea what was going on. When all along he was in there. He knew what was going on. He was abused sexually and mentally. He was even forced to eat his own vomit at one time....Yes as I said it will make you sick.
There are a lot of times that people ask me why Kenzies parents decided to take her home and take care of her herself. I want to give those people this book.
I just want people to read this book. People think that it is cruel to keep Kenzie alive. I think it is cruel to judge someone on their decision. A decision that was not taken lightly and given a great deal of thought. I think it is cruel to give up on a young girl who I know is in there. There are things..little things that Kenzie has done though out the years since the accident that in my heart..I KNOW she is in there. With my whole heart I believe this. I have HOPE.
Sometimes holding that hope is hard. I been struggling this last year with that hope. Trying my best to hold on to it.
Reading this book has put a light under me again. As if screaming at me saying Katie stop being a baby and keep having hope and faith. As silly as that may sound I really do believe that his story was meant to speak to me.
He talks about his family not giving up on him and then the family giving up on him (well other than his dad). His mother at one time gets in argument with his dad about the care for him and she tells the boy to just die..he remembers this obviously because it is in his book. The mom slowly gives up because she is so depressed about it all that she basically can not be around him. But the thing that got me is that there is part in the book where he says he knew he had option to let go and die finally and he didn't. He said he held on a fought through it. I believe that is what Kenzie is doing. I think she has had options to let go and yet she has held on. Some may call me crazy, and you people would be correct.
But like I said I have hope and faith. And these are all things I have to believe.
There was a night in the nursing home when I stayed with Kenzie over night. (I am sure there is a blog about it but I am going to talk about it again) I got in pretty late and I could tell that Kenz was already sleeping so I just pulled into the cot and fell asleep. A few hours later I hear ladies talking in the room (I think they noticed Kenzie was awake or they woke her up) and I sat up to let them know that I was in there. They both got this look on their face and said that Kenzie had moved her head towards me like she had recognized my voice. I was laying down still next to her and could not see it happen. But because of this I know she's in there. I swear she pretends she's sleeping when I walk into the room or she knows I am there. It is without fail that literally almost anytime around she is sleeping. There are other moments through the years that she has done that gives me that HOPE.
People are going to say that I am crazy or not agree with anything I have to say. And that is ok. You are entitled to your opinion, but sometimes we all need someone not give up on us and have hope and faith in us. No matter what the outcome of Kenzies story this one thing for sure I know about her life since the accident she has not went unloved or forgotten.
And at the end of the day isn't that what we all want?
So hold on to your hope and faith no matter what or who its in.
Cousin Katie
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