BROKEN HEARTS

Over the last 25 (getting closer to 26) years of my life I have experienced this so called "broken heart" feeling. Today as I was thinking about how sad I could be about certain recent events I realized that there is no reason to have this feeling. I have learned some great knowledge about me as a person. I am strong and I am not afriad to acknowledge that. Oddly enough I have learned to mourn over certain things and "move on."

With that said my heart still hurts for Kenzie and the rest of the people who have "broken heart" sydrome. As days go by and she gets a little better its eaiser to smile without feeling guilt. But there are still those days where listening to the radio is  unbearable because some country song or Lil Wayne song will come on and it will take all I have not to cry. People wearing some silly outfit with cowboy boots makes my heart sad. Somedays I just cry nothing really triggers it. 

I miss her everyday, its a different kind of heart break that I haven't felt before. Its not like a break up. Its not like someone died. Its somewhere in between. Missing someone who is alive but can't speak to you. But yet they didn't choose to stop talking to you. Its so confusing and hard to understand my feeling sometimes. Its not something you can just get over. It's just heart breaking. 

The are of being Patient

Lately my life consists of working out, working, looking for bands, and trying to get everything else figured out. I feel pretty distant from my family lately. But I think I may finally have enough bands and still have room for a few more. My pants seem to be to big for me :).

Recently I went to a fundraiser for a lady that got hit by a car. She is now at craigs in Denver.she looked really good seemed to be sitting up and talking. She skyped with the crowd. I felt a pain because I was jealous. Its a terrible feeling to feel in a situation like this. But after taking a step back I know that its a normal feeling to feel. I am so happy for her family that they get a miracle.

Its almost 7 months and our girl is becoming stronger. She is getting her speech therpy back. this makes my heart soar and my faith and hope seem stronger. All those painful months seem like a lifetime ago with the thought of her possibly ssspeaking, laughing, or just making noise.

Being patient has been tough. In our world now things happen so fast. So waiting for 7 months has been a tester on peoples emotions, feelings, and relationships. I am excited to see how much more she has progressed in 7 months.

Thank you all for the prayers and positive thoughts. Thank you  will never express how thankful I am for these.