My Kenzie Update

Some days its hard to concentrate on my daily life and that makes sleeping pointless.

I miss her a ton. I can't even begin to tell you what I miss the most. I just miss her.

Lately I been getting a lot of messages from people asking me how she is doing because they are not around a lot. So here is an update on Kenzie.

This is from what I see and my opion of how she is doing and what I have seen while being there.

As weird as this may sound to some of people I still get asked if she is awake. Yes, Kenzie is no longer in a coma. She has points where she is awake and points where she is sleeping. For the most part Kenzie doesn't have both eyes open. Her left eye seems to want to be shut whereas the right eye seems to always be open. She smiles. She also makes mad faces. She really only uses the left side of her face to do these...that is why we call it the Elvis. she stretches where she has to use her whole body to move. She will once in awhile do things when asked. She coughs and throws her whole body into it. When she is in the wheel chair this can be interesting when she does it in front of people. Because sometimes she won't put her head back. She is stubborn and doesn't always listen. They recently learned that you can hear Kenzie. This is the most beautiful thing. I never knew if we would ever get to hear Kenzie again. She is not doing sentences and not even saying real words. The best way to describe Kenzie is like an infant. She is now like a 6 month old baby where she is starting to learn things and every little new thing that she does no matter how small it is. It makes you want to cry with pride.

Thats all I know about how Kenzie is doing. Our girl is still in there and she is a fighter. Ever since she came out of the coma I knew that she was still in there and that she recongnizes people.I think she knows voices and definatly names. When she is excited about something or has some imput she moves her mouth a lot like she really is trying to talk. When I pluke her eyebrows she doesn't make her angry face or anything. She lays there very calm. And trust me she lets you know when she is mad. But what 16 year old wants a unibrow. So I yes I believe that my cousin is in there fighting to come back to us. She wants it just as much as we do. But all of us including her need to be patient. Her brain has been very traumatized and its working hard to heal itself. As hard as it is. Its better to wait then to not have her at all.

I miss her.

Don't be STUPID

I wish I could go around and give a speech to kids on the importance of protecting your brain.

It is sad when you can help prevent something as terrible as a brain injury from happening. I keep seeing all these people on their mortercycles and what not without helmets on. Are you kidding me? You rather worry about cool you may not look with a helmet on. Let me tell you that if something goes wrong you won't look to cool with a shaved head and wires coming out of your head to keep track of your brain pressure. Or when all of sudden you have to have a feeding tube. Should we talk about the poop bag?

Please be safe and smart out there people!

Weekend with Kenzie

I recently went to Great Falls to sit with Kenzie while Randy and Soni went to do grown up things.

The first night I got there i caught up with aunt Soni and Uncle Randy and they went over the "routine" and showed me where everything is. Kenzie was awake and I actually got to hear her. It is crazy to go so long without hearing anything and to hear that sweet noise. It makes all your terrible days go away just hear something you did not know if you were going to be able to hear again. After Kenzie went to bed I went off to my friends house to also get some sleep. 

The next morning I got there and she was wide awake because they thought it was a good idea to wake her up at 6 a.m. with ice. I think we should go wake these people up way early with ice and see how they like it :) . She was very talktibve (she doesn't actually talk but she looks like she is talking by moving her mouth a whole lot) we talked about her sister, Taylor and her boyfriend, I told her about my newly ex boyfriend..we both decided boys are big idiots (that is the nice word we will use). Then I could tell she was getting sleepy so she took a nap. After awhile I went to have lunch and shower. When I got back the cna's put Kenzie in her chair. Now this process is fun to watch you have to communicate with each other. I  wish I could ask Kenzie how she enjoys this little ride she goes on everyday. After we got her ready me and Kenzie went to BiNGo. We were a little late but caught up and almost won. we were off by one. It was nice to just get out of that small room. Then we decided to go check out the hospital and leave the nursing home for a bit. Which I think was good for both of us. That day Kenzie seemed to be crabby but I don't she was feeling very good. The rest of the day we took it easy and watched tv. Uncle Randy came back early so I left to visit with my friends that let me stay there everytime I stay in Great Falls.

The next day I got there a little late and I actually napped with kenzie most of my visit. It was nice to lay in bed with her. I never understood Aunt Soni's love of laying in bed with Kenzie. But to hold her hand and just snuggle with her just I dunno it was a great feeling. Very soothing and everything in the world felt right as I slept. I slept so peacefully and I can't wait to nap with her again.

The next mornining I got there and we decided to watch some movies. We watched Breaking Dawn and Say Anything. During these movies I plucked her eyebrows and painted her toe nails. When doing anything you have to time it just right with her because every two hours they come in and turn her and change her. So this took the time of both movies just with trying not to be in the way of the CNA's. Again we went for another walk around the hosptial we went to the bridge and sat in the sun for an hour. It was refreshing to get some sun on the skin. Kenzie looked very relaxed everytime sunshine was on her.

I do good most times I am in the nursing home and don't usually cry anymore. But for some reason the last day I had a hard time. I had the door shut most of the day. Being there for more then a day I got to see what life is sort of like for Kenzie. All the noises and smells she has to deal with everyday. It is heartbreaking to hear people screaming (they don't do it all the time) and the looks of confusion on peoples face. I've always kind of wondered why they wanted to move home so bad because life is going to be really hard. But after just experiencing just a weekend there I fully understand it now. To have to always sit in that little room and never fully have privacy is difficult to deal with.

I think the staff was happy when Randy and Soni came back because they really do most of the care for Kenzie.

People like to tell me that I am amazing but the real people that are the most amazing people in this whole ordeal is my aunt and uncle. I have seen amazing transformations of them as individuals, a couple, and parents. Their life has changed forever. They have had to make some of the biggest decisions that any parent should EVER have to make. I hope that no one ever has to go through this situation. and I just want them to know that I love them very much and I am soo proud of them. And everyday I am happy for the choices they have made. For the people that thought that it was unfair to keep her alive she is slowly coming back to us. Little by little.