Stressed

I am super stressed that I will fail at this fundraiser this summer. I need bands in a BIG WAY! I have got a venue. and I got it at a discounted rate. Zoo Montana is the venue that I choose to go with I am super excited about that. Now just making everything else come together gives me an anxiety attack. I have a problem with procrastination and asking people for things..expecially people I don't know.

These are thing that I need to get very FAST! 

I don't get out much so I don't know a whole lot about what bands there are in Montana.

Also I am going to be needing help with a few things with this fundraiser. I want to sell bracelets and possibly t-shirts at this event I will need people to do this for me and to take control because I will not have time to do that. I will be busy making sure everything else goes good.

I will also need someone to help me get together donations from businesses to raffle off or like door prizes.

I will need to have people that will help clean up the event afterwards.

On my list of things to do RIGHT NOW is find a place to get posters and tickets donated. 

If anyone would like to help, donate, has ideas or what have you.. PLEASE CONTACT ME

e-mail me at ktzarn@gmail.com (it goes straight to phone so its like texting)

Days Go By

You know when you are in high school and you sit there and think about all the things you want to accomplish. I am no where near where I thought I would be.

I remember my senior year sitting with my friends Heidi and Chelsea in our Accounting Class and we sat and talked about where we thought we would be at the age of 25.

I figured I'd be done with school and on my way to either owning my own business or managing some business. I would be getting ready to get engaged to the man of my dreams (Who of course I would meet while in college). We would be engaged for a year and then married for another year then we would discuss children. I would talk my sweet man into adopting children. I would continue to work and be a business woman in charge. I would be living by the beach.

I am now 25 not married and not even close to getting married. I still want to adopt but I also want to be pregnant with a child also (not today but later in life). I would still like to own my own business. But I would also like to have the option some day to raise a family. And owning a business can make that difficult. These are things I think about now. It is crazy how life can change the things you want. My goal to be such a business woman has faded and I have since realized that being a stay at home mom is not the worst job to ever have. I think about the things I got to enjoy in my childhood because my mom was a stay at home mom. My mom got to come to every basketball, volleyball and football game I was ever involved in. She got to come help out in the classroom and come on class trips. Me and my friends could get a ride home from lunch. I could go on and on about the amazing things my mom has done. Now that I look back I was sure lucky.

I also do not live by a beach. I always thought I would live in California. If I would of moved to California there is no way that I could be there for my family like I have been. I will never regret not moving to Cali. If I lived out of states I think I would be feeling awful. I would never get to do the things that I have for my family.

I am working on going back to school and studying business. I thought about teaching but my first love has always been business. I think I am good at it. I live with a roommate and currently have a great boyfriend who makes me smile and laugh and has helped me start to put back together the Katie I remember before July happened.

If you would of asked me when I was 18 if I saw myself still not a college graduate, not married, and living in Billings Montana. I would of laughed in your face.

2012

We are into a new year...

As get to a new year people make out resoultions. The last fews it has been to just work on myself as a person. So I been working on myself last year. And I will continue to do as the years go by. This year I have a few things that I been struggling with and I will work on them this year..

Forgiveness, Procrastination, Stress, and Katie Time.

Forgiveness- I been struggling with this for awhile now. I can't seem to let things go. And I know that it doesn't affect the people I am not forgiving more then it does me. I know that I carry it on my shouldars.

Procrastination- The fund raiser stuff really suffers because of this. And this in turn leads too....

STRESS- I need to get back to the gym and start doing other stress reliever things again. Life is so more manageable without stress. Stress leads to anxiety. and anxiety leads to sleepless nights. Sleepless nights leads to emotional break downs. Which leads me to be a CRAZY LADY. AHHHHH!!!

Katie Time- I need to make more time for myself and stop worrying about people judging me for things. Sometimes its ok to turn my phone off and not be there for EVERYONE! Quiet alone time can be nice...I'll have to try it one of these days.

I am not a terrible person. I am not a perfect person. I have room to grow to be a better person. Every day is a struggle and sometimes I fight with myself and God. Its a learning process but I am starting to manage life a little better. One day at a time. One breath at a time more like it for.